Learning About Girls (and Still Learning)

Written by Mike Morris

When I got my first car, I began taking girls out
to the movies, etc.  At the end of one of my dates, we pulled up in front of her house and began some casual talk.  As we sat talking, I saw that her profile reminded me of someone, and I blurted it out…”Hey, you remind me of my Grandmother!” 
Of course, she said, “WHAT!” 
I was startled because I loved my Grandmother.  She seemed upset.  But as I explained that her profile looked like what my Grandmother’s profile would have looked like when she was in her youth, she calmed down a bit. 
I wonder if that’s why she got out of the car then?

And Still Learning….

I guess I was a Sophomore at the time, and it was a Friday after school.  I had a basketball goal on the front of our carport and me, Dan Bristow, Lewis Holiman and Bill Abbott were playing a game of HORSE.  It was about 5pm and we were all hot and sweaty.  I saw a car approach our driveway, slow down and stop.  A man was driving, and he had a female passenger.  With the b-ball tucked under my arm, I casually walked out to see what they wanted.  As I approached the car, I bent over to talk to them, and I recognized the girl sitting on the passenger side. OH MY GOD!  I had forgotten!  It was TWIRP week, and she had asked me out earlier in the week!  Oh sh!!.  Although I asked them to give me a few minutes to get ready, the irritated Father just drove off.  Well, I had never been asked out and I just forgot about it!  (That’s no excuse, stupid!).  How embarrassing!  I still feel bad about this, and, although I will not name her, please forgive me…my apologies!

And Still Learning….

My Junior year, I was in love with Patsy Mansker.  She was, and will always be, my first love…someone you never forget.  I was a cheerleader at the time, and I had been invited to the annual football banquet.  Now I didn’t have the greatest wardrobe in the world, and I was in a growth spurt, so my one-and-only suit was too small.  But I did have a dinner jacket that still fit, so along with my dark suit pants, I went to pick up Patsy.  I pulled up in my shiny and clean Olds.  With corsage in hand and hair slicked back with plenty of Brylcreem and reeking of Polo, I made my way to the door.  Looking back, I probably looked more like a Penguin.  As soon as Patsy came to the door, she laughed out loud and said, “Are you wearing THAT?”  I immediately looked down to see if I had spilled Big Red or grape juice on myself, and said, “Yeah, what’s wrong with it?”  She said, “It’s a Fall banquet.  You don’t wear a WHITE dinner jacket to a FALL banquet.”  I wanted to call for my Mother, but apparently, she was just as ignorant because she told me how handsome I looked before I left.  What to do.  Patsy said let’s look through some of my Dad’s things…maybe we can find something you can wear.  Now I knew this was going to be a fruitless effort because her dad was probably a tenth generation Silver Back and I was a beanpole.  Oh well…  We went anyway.  I just slung the jacket over my shoulder walking in, and it hung on my chairback the entire time.  When I got home that night and told Mom what had happened, she just said, “Well, what do they know?”.  Oh well…besides hurt feelings from the laugh, I did survive.  The only good thing that came from the experience was probably the laughs from Patsy telling the story in later years.  Smile.

The 1950 Oldsmobile and Mike Morris Mike Morris 50s Olds

And Still Learning More…

As stated above, I had fallen in love.  Patsy was everything to me.  I think everyone’s first love is always perfect….at first.  But things happen and you break up and go on.  I still remember the hurt associated with the breakup, and it’s all a part of life that is difficult to deal with.  But you learn from it.  I really loved and respected Patsy and I would never have done anything inappropriate to jeopardize our relationship…just kissing, hugging and snuggling was as far as our relationship ever advanced.  But not long after we quit dating, I began seeing others and had some good times with all of them.  About my dating conduct, my Mom had me so convinced that if I ever did “That”, God would see to it that my life would end in some horrible way, and I would spend all of eternity in Hell.  Consequently, the girls had nothing to fear when dating me.  Although, I DID upon occasion, attempt to study anatomy by the braille system, just for learning purposes only!  But more than I liked, my study partner let me know that my study techniques were NOT to be tried on them.  So, for those who I offended, my apologies, and I promise, I won’t every try that again!

5 thoughts on “Learning About Girls (and Still Learning)

  1. Max Berry February 20, 2023 / 12:27 pm

    You need to write a book, my Friend!

    • Mike Morris February 20, 2023 / 11:08 pm

      Along with your stories, we might have a best seller!

  2. Curtis B Harvey February 20, 2023 / 3:17 pm

    From what I have read, you might need to write TWO books — or more!

    • Mike Morris February 20, 2023 / 11:09 pm

      Thank you Curtis.

  3. Anonymous February 20, 2023 / 10:11 pm

    Great story teller

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